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Wednesday, November 15, 2000

Dear Kelly,

I am a 47 year old man with MS. I am not married or dating at this time but I would like to have a woman in my life. My problem seems to be that because I am not who I used to be I feel that I am less of a person. I also need to walk with a cane now, so my disability is now visible and this is difficult to deal with. Can you help me get over feeling this way?

Thank you for any suggestions you may have for me,

Dave

Dear Dave,

Most people are not the same person they used to be when their life becomes affected by a disability. This in no way means that you are any less of a person, it simply means that your abilities in some areas of your life have changed. You may find that you have gained other abilities which you did not have before you became disabled that could be very attractive to a woman, for example: Life is more important to you now and you do not waste time, you might not procrastinate if you used to before, you have learned some fun or exciting hobbies. Also, remember, whomever you do meet, did not know you before you became disabled.

As far as the cane goes, chances are good that if someone can not see you through the cane, you really wouldn't want to be involved in a relationship with that person anyway.

I think you have a lot going for you Dave. Try taking a night class in a local high school and find others who share the same interests that you do. You never know who you will meet out there.

Kelly


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