Saturday, November 18, 2000
Thank you so much for the help that we are getting just from my wife and I reading the questions and answers from others on your site. This is a wonderful addition to the website as sexuality and intimacy are issues which I have never seen be so tastefully and professionally discussed in a public forum.
My wife and I are married 8 years and she has been ill for 2 years. We are both in our mid 30's. Before her illness, like most others, our intimate life was very alive. Needless to say, in the past 2 years it has dwindled down to almost nothing. However, we know that this is not going to be forever, we pace what ever she is able to do when she can do it, we have faith, and our love is probably stronger now than ever.
Initially, after my wife Susan became ill, it was very stressful at night to go to bed knowing that we were going there with no other intent but that of to go to sleep. My wife became very stressed that she was not able to give of herself like she used to. After we had many long discussions about this (we never discussed it in bed) and I told her that we will just wait until SHE feels like she is able to. The lessening of the stress at night made us feel more comfortable at bedtime and I must admit, we were able to be intimate after many months of just sleeping next to each other. Now, we both have come to know that sex is not expected when we go to bed, so that stress is off of us and she does not have the guilt which was making her emotionally sicker. Last month we had 2 encounters, brief, but nonetheless...loving, the way it should be.
Thank you so much for all the support and hope you continue to give us and others.
Eric and Susan